frustrated

i would love to think that i've prepared more than enough for my exam. but when i've run through the questions, i realized that i've missed a thing or two. i've learned from previous students of biochem that the prof gives questions out of nowhere. i spent sleepless nights reading and studying, preparing for the unexpected but i was surprised. indeed, some of the questions just came from nowhere! i don't know what's on my prof's mind when he gave such questions. is he trying to tell us that he's much better than us? does he need to prove he's capabilites? or maybe, i have not really prepared much? maybe i need to double or triple my efforts to do better in this subject. biochem does not amaze me! even before my undergrad days. coz i hate to memorize!

i wanted to shout the moment i got out of the room. until now, just thinking of the questions, bothers me. i want to cry, but i just can't. maybe, it's not really worth it. i've planned to study for my wed exam but i've got no energy. it was drained during my biochem exam. i hate it... i don't know if i hate myself more or my prof. is it right to put the blame on my prof? am i not looking for an scapegoat for my negligence? have i really studied much? oh no! i hate to think about it. i don't know...i just don't feel fine right now.

i must stop thinking about it. i might ruin my other two exams if i can't let it go. i know this is for my own good. i just leave everything to GOD, for He truly knows what's best for me.

allow me to post the serenity prayer here.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change
Courage to change the things i can and
Wisdom to know the difference.