childish adult

Sunday, March 05, 2006

i am an emotional person. my family and friends can attest to that. my tears fall as easily as rain drops. I prefer to cry than hurt someone else. Crying for me is an escape. An escape of hurting someone with what i might say. I am just a simple person with simple tastes. I enjoy the company of friends as well as being alone. But there are times that you want to be with someone. I can accept "NO" for an answer and will respect your decision as long as you wont change it because of someone else's decision. it's just like saying that you dont like to be with me. i would appreciate it if you'll say it straight to my face rather than figuring it out . i hate hypocrites and i hate being tested... whatever it is that i am feeling right now, i hope you'll understand... let's just take time to heal whatever it is that needs to be healed. as of now, i am hurt.

Friday, November 18, 2005

i am a certified student again! aside from my usual lab experiment for my thesis, i enrolled in two subjects. Which means that i have to study and pass problem sets and assignments on the due date. whew!!!! i still don't know how challenging this semester would be, but i am hoping that i have the time and strength to pull this off.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

home sweet home

i'm leaving for tacloban later today. i need to talk with my director regarding my plans for next semester. i need his approval for my taking additional subjects aside from my thesis. i hope that he'll sign it without hesitation (with my adviser's recommendation ba naman)... i also need to ask himpf my chance to be extended next school year even for a semester only to finish my thesis (hopefully ;)) or maybe ask for transfer at pisay diliman. i definitely cannot finish my thesis this summer. too bad... tsk... tsk...

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i miss my family back home and i'll be seeing them soon. i miss my papa paks. he's the reason why i'm going home. my sister and i have decided to have his eye operated. my father has been diagnosed with glaucoma in 1999. we've been to bacolod (2001) to ask the opinion of some doctors. one said that my father's glaucoma is non-operable and the eye drops will somehow maintain the pressure on my father's eye. my paps has used his medication regularly until his doctor in dumaguete changed it to another formulation. he complained to me and not to his doctor... si papa gyud... gahi man gud ug ulo...

i've read about glaucoma and nothing was mentioned about operable and non-operable one. i hope and pray that the doctors in chong hua hospital (cebu) can help us.

i love my father so much... im willing to do anything and everything to keep his eyesight... i've been persistently praying for it and will continue to do so. im asking for your prayers for my father's eyesight and for a successful operation( i hope it will be operated).

all for you paks! i love you!

Monday, October 10, 2005

nothing in particular

got this from tonicoo's blog. thanks tons :)

Your Brain's Pattern
You're a simple thinker, and this is actually a very good thing.You don't complicate matters when you don't have to.You look for the simplest explanation or solution, and you go with that.As a result, your mind is uncluttered and free of stress.
What Pattern Is Your Brain?



How You Are In Love
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to give more than take in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You're secretly hoping your partner will change for you.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.
How Are You In Love?



Everything Pizza
Diverse and adaptableYou enjoy the full buffet of lifeIt's hard to you play favorites with friends... or flavorsThere's very little that you dislike!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

down....

im just so disappointed with my laboratory work, myself and with my adviser...
all the while i thought ill get a lot of useful information from my adviser but i was mistaken. honestly speaking, i had second thoughts of having her as an adviser but since i have said my yes to her (re: thesis) i cannot back out. though i've talked with her re my proposal that i'll focus on natural products since its where students of pisay are concentrating. but she told me that "baka ako mapolitika". since i don't want to create trouble in the institute moreso with people im working with, i opted to have her as my adviser. well she's nice and the rest, to be unveiled. :)

maybe its not my adviser but me. i'm tired of doing the same thing over and over again and still getting nothing... is my patience in danger here? my frustrations on my experiment is vent to other people. pardon me if it is so. but i have no one to turn to.

grrr.... is it about time for me to say out loud "I HATE THESIS!"

oh no i remembered osie yelling that one night and my answer was "wag muna osie' kasisimula ko lang!" huhuhu... i want to cry but no tears will cooperate... m just so tired. tired of doing it over and over again and getting no valuable information as to how i'll do it. wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

m just down and depressed....

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

patience is a virtue

thesis has been my life so to speak. after receiving the article from a friend's friend, i am so excited to start synthesizing again for the nth time. honestly speaking, i'm always starting with my thesis, because im usually stucked at phase 3 of my synthesis. so with the new procedure in hand, i am so thrilled!

while i was preparing my tlc (thin layer chromatography) plate, i didnt realize that the clamp holding the flask containing my reaction mixture was loosened that it dived right into the oil bath... i wanted to cry, but my tears won't do me good... good thing though, i had not used up all the reactants. so i did the reaction again... after five hours of waiting, i had to do as instructed and got the desired product as mentioned in the literature. but it doesnt end there. i think i've suspended the product in too much acetone that when i filter it nothing was left on the filter paper...huhuhu... two in a row!!! ouch!!!!! just when im in a hurry to come up with my desired product so it could be analyzed in Ateneo for NMR (nuclear magnetic resonance).Rose, the research associate of my adviser, told me that its cheaper if samples are to be analyzed by bulk. wahhhhhhh!!!!! if by tomorrow i find out that my product was really gone then i'll have to start from scratch ... how can i meet up with the scheduled nmr on tuesday?

my patience has been tested with my thesis... i almost forgot that im a chemist. i have been with the academe for more than five years and have not really practiced my profession(as a chemist) since then. with all the hardships and trials im encountering every laboratory work, i realized that i am a scientist and every failed activity is not a waste at all, but a path that could guide me in achieving my goals.

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Gail, thanks! :)

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

timeline tag

after a long absence from my blog, i guess this is the best that i can do....

20 years ago….

I was 13 years old and first year in high school. Took the entrance exam while having fever and sore eyes. Results did not favor my side. My elementary classmates where in one section. This section was used as pilot section that focused on science and technology. While the section I was in(first section) was using the old curriculum. It was like nightmare for me. I had to prove to them that im as good as them. During the math quiz show, I happen to represent our section together with two other classmates. Five teams competed. The other four teams where from the pilot section. We placed 2nd with just a point away from the 1st place… not really a bad year though. I was in a new group and was also known as actively participating in almost all activities. kapal man gud ako fez…

15 years ago…

I was 18, 2nd yr in college and in a relationship. Had two major subjects in chemistry (one was handled by my sister), calculus and physics. oh gosh! I cannot approach my sister during those times. Could not even ask for a snack from her. I really distanced myself from her to avoid talks. Alams na…. Most of my time was spent with my boyfriend. I never missed classes, but my mind was not really on the lessons but was wandering off the windows… asus… my boyfriend was my classmate in almost all subjects…I even had a fight with him over one exam. He actually asked me to pass my paper to him, but of course I did not give it to him. No way! Over my dead body! We had a fight over that and believe me, he was so sorry for what he did…My grades were not impressive during this year… worst part is, he broke up with me… his reason, he has to concentrate on his studies. Found out later, he was in a relationship. In short, he was unfaithful to me.

10 years ago…

I was 23, a faculty at the department of chemistry, silliman university, dumaguete city. Single and very much available. It was during this year that engineering students would actually tease me with their engineering professors. But nothing was done… my students didn’t do anything at all… I even had an Indonesian student who had the nerve to tell me that he loves me… taas jud kaau ako hair…

was already giving my share of the household expenses. Enjoying my life as a professional and enjoying single blessedness….

5 years ago…

I was 28 years old, single but in a relationship… had been in tacloban for 2 years. Was a practicing chemist at the PEPSICO in leyte plant. Had to resign as pepsi’s plant chemist and joined philippine science high school- eastern visayas campus, leyte to teach. Had to adjust to my new workplace, my co-teachers, staff and most especially my students. I was teaching chemistry 3 to fourth year students and Advanced chemistry to 15 students. Was having a hard time teaching. I was nervous during the first month and the students knew of my nervousness thus I was not able to deliver my lesson well. But as the days passed by, I was already having a hand of almost anything that I taught. I learned to enjoy my classes very much and had a wonderful time with my students…

3 years ago…

I was 30, and still single. Decided to enroll at up diliman for my masteral studies hoping that my boyfriend will find some job and make use of his time fruitfully. I guess I was hoping against hope…

Last year….

Finished all my master’s academic requirements. Was having a hard time deciding if i'll pursue my master’s with thesis option or shift to non-thesis option.

This year…

Doing my thesis… having a bad feeling that I wont be able to finish my thesis this year… frustrated with the facilities and supplies and desperate to come up with a fruitful result but to no avail…will take up some units next semester so that I can pursue non thesis option but will also be doing laboratory work… I wish that GOD would help me with this…

Next year…

Will hopefully be back to teaching at pisay-leyte… as to my MS degree, if and when I decide to take the compre exam then that would be on November. If GOD will make miracles with my thesis then lucky me coz I need not have to worry with compre review. Que sera sera na lang akong beauty ani oi…

10 years from now…

whatever is my marital status, my niece, Julia will already be my legally adopted daughter.

I would probably be teaching in America or maybe have completed my PhD in Chemistry outside the Philippines.

I would love to have children of my own. Be a wife, mother and friend to my husband and children…

I hope that i would be able to help my nephews and nieces with their college education… and a lot more…..

who i wish would take these questions? bisag kinsa lang gud oi =)